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Looking for a Safe Place

Easter.  I had rushed around making sure we all had spring time clothes to wear.  Easter baskets?  Check.  Toys and candy?  Check.  All this going on while my husband transitions into a new job and we finalize everything for our new home.  Once Easter arrived I was so ready to relax and spend time during service just worshipping God and praising him for Who He is.  April is also child abuse prevention month, and with where I come from, that had been on my mind lately.  I was in worship Sunday thinking about how grateful I am  that Jesus is so gentle with us.  A bruised reed He will not crush.  He took our pain and infirmities so we could walk in freedom.  But then something so unexpected happened.


Fight-Back Tuesday: The Self Esteem Version

Note: I have not forgotten about the Peace Series I said we will be starting! I am working behind the scenes on organizing it and putting together some tools I think will be helpful to you.

If you’ve been reading here for any length of time, you already know the basics of my story – my background.  One part of that story is the shaming I under went for most of my young life for not being pretty, or pretty enough, depending on whom you asked.  All of my family relatives are pretty nice looking folks.  But like it happens for most of us, no matter who we’re with, there are comparisons.  I remember VERY clearly sitting at a family Christmas gathering right after my parents had split and hearing a group of them talk about how beautiful one of my siblings was and therefore, that one would be successful.  But me?  They said I wasn’t very pretty; I was cute, but not pretty and it would be harder for me to have a good chance in life.  People I can’t make this stuff up!  And the fact that my entire life I have always at least 20 pounds (but usually more, sometimes A LOT more) overweight due to health problems and medications I was taking.  I was in a very deep depression by this time from the years of abuse and was probably around 10 or 11 years old.  I had another relative who told me out of concern that if I didn’t “get pretty” no man would ever want to marry me.

I grew up with a huge inferiority complex and zero self esteem.  I spent all of my pre-teen and teen years hearing people classify me as “the ugly one” in the family.  Or the ugly one out of a group of friends or in class at school.  After awhile, those comments became my inner identity.  By the time I was approaching 20 years of age, I had severe crippling anxiety about going out into public.  Going to the grocery store or Wal-mart became almost impossible.  I would hold my breath constantly out of fear and anxiety.  I felt like I was too ugly to walk into a public place and felt so ashamed of myself.  Why did God make me look like I did?  I truly didn’t understand. Read More


My Current Reading List – January 2015


One of the new features I wanted to do on the blog this year was a regular reading list.  There’s nothing like having a child that will quickly rid your life of time to read, right?

Above is my current stack of books – you should see the magazines that lying around unread!  See all those bookmarks?  I have a terrible habit of starting lots of books at once, and sometimes not finishing any of them.  I’m getting more serious now about picking back up on reading regularly and finishing books.  I found some interesting books at the library, and a few were Christmas gifts.  As you can see, I really enjoy Sally Clarkson’s books.   :-)

Unless there are extra days miraculously added to this month, I will not be finishing all these books in January.  But I am making changes to my schedule to allow for more reading time.  Just a few minutes for a chapter here and there can add up quickly.

Here’s what I plan to read:

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Drop falling of mint leaf in an essential oil bottleYes, the title of this article is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but it is also factual as well. I’ve noticed something – a trend of sorts – flooding my inbox and social media feeds. Posts after posts about the “dangers” of essential oils.  It has become fear-mongering at its finest.  (Side note: And let’s just clear this up right now in case for some reason you don’t know – I am an independent distributor with Young Living Essential Oils.  What I am writing here is about an issue, not about my particular company of choice.)

The same people who askew a majority of modern Western medicine practices, moms who serve only organic food, cloth diaper their babies and tout the use herbal and other alternative therapies, are very, VERY, V E R Y concerned about YOU using essential oils. And here’s what I’ve noticed: most of the people who are writing these posts are not certified aromatherapists, holistic practitioners or the like. They are regular people who’ve decided that essential oil useage by the masses may be a clear and present danger. Some of the articles I’ve read have been downright silly, while others do contain some common sense application cautions.

Yet, the bigger problem isn’t always the absurdity of claims presented in these warning articles, but the harsh “at-a-boy” comments, tales of bad essential oil stories by readers, and inevitably, the bashing of those MLM oil companies that someone doesn’t like (usually because they are an MLM.)

Here’s my thoughts on this whole “controversy:” Read More